As I near the end of my 30s, I've been doing a lot of thinking about my relationship mistakes, especially as I finalize my divorce. Mistakes are meant to happen but if you don't learn from them, you'll never grow or get what you're looking for.
For me, I benefit the most when I share the life lessons I learned the hard way with the hopes that someone can steal a gem from the mistakes I made and choose a better path. In the two years since I've been separated from my former husband, I've also promised myself that I will never go through a divorce again, nor will I commit to the wrong person again.
These are some of the relationship mistakes I made in my 20s that set the bar too low for me. And I will NEVER repeat them again.
1. I ignored the nice guys.
Women ignore the nice guys when they feel bad about themselves. When you feel bad about yourself, you pick people who continue to validate those bad feelings about yourself. I'm not saying I will go out with anyone who's nice simply because he's nice, but I will give a nice guy a chance because I know that's what I deserve.
2. I let him do all the work.
I always pursued the guys hardcore instead of letting them chase me, and when they did chase me, I ignored them because they were nice guys (see mistake #1). My former husband pursued me and that's what worked. I'm a Type A female, but a man wants to feel like he's earned the love of someone, not as if the woman threw herself at his feet.
3. I told the truth too much, too often.
I disclosed too much, too soon with new partners, and they didn't stick around long because I chose jerks. Did these people really need or deserve to have my heart and soul on a plate? No, and I probably scared guys away that would've stuck around had I just went easy.
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